Seeing Beyond the Surface

 Hey guys! So, I am going to do something a little different today. Want to talk about beauty...but what it is really about behind the face. Within. 

Many people have said "you're beautiful" or "you're absolutely gorgeous". I take a lot of selfies, but it was never to be vain, but to encourage myself so that I can have peace about who I am. Many do not know that I gained over 60 pounds last year due to health issues. This was a trying time for me. Because for once, I didn't feel beautiful. I didn't see what others saw. I felt isolated with low self-esteem. I also dealt with depression which I will get to in a minute. I am a Christian and I love God. You can have your beliefs with no judgment from me. But it's better that I have someone above looking out for me. I do not know where I would have been if it weren't for Him. Somehow through having pain all over my body every single day and the scary doctor visits, I found my peace in Him. But not only did he give me peace but, he helped me to look at myself deeper and fix how I viewed myself. Yes, I can have all the beautiful makeup in the world but if I am not that same person behind the makeup, then I have to get on the journey of becoming my true being. When going through my illness, I did not get the support I needed. When you are the strong one and pouring into others, sometimes it can be exhausting. The ones you poured into, get what they need but then you are left empty and to pick up the pieces of your own life. Isolating myself, I lost alot of people who I believed were for me. That felt lonely but I believe it is for a purpose.

I encourage you to look within and find the true being of yourself. Then after you begin to love yourself, you have the mental and emotional capacity to love others. I went to therapy, read my bible, prayed with tears so many times. I looked within and found the true version of myself. It is so peaceful when you close out those negative thoughts in your mind. You can do it and yes, honey it is possible. People do not know the behind the scenes of being confident. You could be so broken inside. If you feel broken inside with negative voices within your head, talk it out with someone. Even if you feel like there is no hope and you should end your life, don't. You do not have to listen to any voice that is the opposite of good. Yes, I could say that you will hurt the people that do actually love and care about you. But it is not only about that. It is about your finding yourself and giving yourself some leeway. You can take it one day at a time. You can have some days where you are frustrated, but do not give up. This is just a season and it will pass. 

A scripture I live by, helps me to know that God loves me and he cares. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Give all your cares and cares to God, for He cares about you". This has helped me. Also Psalms 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed". You do have an option, you are worthy to live, and you will find peace within. Look deeper.